Dear Fear,
The way that you try and control me is getting old. Surcoming to your strong tidal pull only makes me feel weaker, yet trying to swim out of its strong grip is exhausting. How do I pull myself out of your ocean of mysery and crawl onto the sandy still beach of warmth and content? Is it by talking about you? Is it by listening to your inner most message and not trying to ignore you? Please tell me so I can be rid of you and enjoy my life without anxiety.
You always come along when I am happy. Right when I am doing what I want, doing what I feel not what I think. Right when I let you go for a moment and start to live. Thats when you get the audacity to show up again. Its like you disappear long enough for me to be comfortable, to then reemerge when I have found joy.
You must be really insensitive. You must know what you do to me-paralyze me with your intensity, force my entire body to tense up muscle by muscle. I begin to feel the pressure in my head and I rub my temples to try to relieve your annoying reoccurances to be scared.
One day I will overcome you. I will stand up and shake your hand and say 'thank you for making me grow' or who knows maybe il say 'you've ruined my life', I guess it depends how I deal with you.
In the futre I hope to never see you again,
Yours Truly
Deanna
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